Wow! It’s certainly been a while! With this new breath of life into the chronicling of all that is loved by Andrew Joseph, I thought I would give a homage to the first Andrew Approved post. This time, I shall expand and note that Andrew not only loves the iPod, but basically everything that is Apple.

When I recently asked Andrew what he would want if his birthday were tomorrow, he replied “I would really really wuv wuv wuv an Apple iPad and I would hugs it forevs and forevs.” I was a little confused. “Andrew, don’t you already have like four of those?” I asked. He looked at me as if I had killed his dog and said “but I need one for each of my limbs and one for my bosom!” Whatever, Andrew.

A week ago, I came home to find Andrew messing around with something by my TV. I didn’t get a chance to get a good look, but I could have sworn I saw him licking my Mac Mini moaning to himself “mmmmmmmmmmmiiiinnniiiiiii.” Look, Andrew, I guess I’m fine with you licking my Mac Mini if it makes you happy, but make sure you wipe off your saliva afterwards, ok?

To top all of that off, the other day I was looking for my Magic Mouse, but I couldn’t find it. I figured someone swiped it, but it’s kind of a terrible mouse so I didn’t really care that much. Andrew was sleeping on the couch (at least I think he was) in the fetal position, but when he got up to leave, I heard a little clang and saw the Magic Mouse slip out of his right pants leg onto the floor. “Uhhhh, Andrew…” I started, but then he just made a goofy smile, winked, and walked away. I shook my head as I thought “I guess I don’t really want to know.”

Jen, Andrew’s girlfriend, recently moved to Texas and when I asked her how things were going she said “great, but sometimes Andrew worries me.” I was like “oh? how so?” “Well,” she responded, “sometimes I want to give him a hug or lay on the couch next to him, but he pushes me away yelling at me about being careful around his iPhones and iPod Touches.” Apparently Andrew has a pair of each and keeps them in all of his pants pockets. When I confronted Andrew with this later, he gave me a stern “look, she can hug me all she wants later, but when my pants are full of Apple, it’s Stevie time, if you know what I mean.” Uh…

We’ve just heard from eye witness accounts that the Texas Tech Red Raiders are AndrewApproved. “Red’s my favorite color,” says Andrew. “That’s why I was going for the Raiders in tonight’s game. They’ve got Texas in their name too, so same difference, right? It’s win-win, so I just pick the color I like the best.”

Our sources then go on to say that if UT’s colors were pink and burnt orange, Andrew very likely would have switched sides. “I don’t really like orange that much but I do love red because it’s the color of love and red roses. I like to skip through fields and pick pretty flowers to smell and roses are some of my bestest favorites. I WUV WUV WUV THEM SO MUCH.” Following that, there are allegedly recordings of Andrew clarifying his statements. “However, one color that definitely beats red in my book is pink because that’s the color of Barbie’s corvette and she’s so sexy, I wish I could be like her.”

Andrew and I were watching The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants and every time a song would come on Andrew would gush “OMG, I absolute LOVE this song.” He would even rewind just to listen to songs again. At one point I was like “okay, Andrew, you’re ruining the movie” but he would just say something silly like “oh, I’m sorry, I thought it was a Hillary Duff song.” I’m just glad he didn’t say anything about his loins again.

Once the movie was done, Andrew skipped to his room singing So Yesterday. The happiness soon faded, however, when Andrew discovered that the movie had been erased from the DVR and he couldn’t listen to the soundtrack anymore. Everyone, do him a favor and order him a copy.

As many of you know, I have recently moved in with Andrew and a group of guys comes over every week to play World of Warcraft at our place. Ever since Andrew was but a wee little fire mage years ago, he’s loved the sound gorillas make in WoW, and this love has since resurfaced…

We were playing WoW the other day and Andrew was all like “guys, I need to go to STV to get me some gorilla lovin’” and we were all like “Andrew, that’s silly.” He insisted, however, and took the flight, Sam style, from Undercity to Booty Bay then headed to where the gorillas chilled.

A while later, we were all like “hey Andrew, you gonna help us out with this quest?” We got no reply. I looked to my right and Andrew was slumped in his chair, eyes closes, and headphones on with a huge grin on his face. I yanked off the headphones and this is what was playing:

At this time, we had to intervene and we sat Andrew on the couch and had a good heart to heart. We said “Andrew, this obsession you have with the gorilla sounds is both disturbing and unhealthy.” Andrew protested “but it soothes me deep within my loins!”

…

I told Andrew I’m moving out…

This just in! Andrew has announced that he hates meat (especially medium rare steak) and absolutely adores vegetables!

Look at that plate of greens! After devouring his salad, Andrew announced “that was so delicious! Meat is nothing compared to all this precious chlorophyll!!!” It is rumored that after testing the waters at Freescale Semiconductor, Andrew may quit to pursue his full time hobby of developing the “bestest salad with no meat EVAH!”

When questioned about his new obsession, Jen became very solemn and quietly said that “he likes to cuddle up in bed with bags of cauliflowers and asparagus instead of me.” “Once, I saw him cradle a small tomato in his hands whispering sweet nothings to it…”

We’ve been gone for a while, but we return now to deliver you news on some of Andrew’s favorite things to eat. First on the list is well done steak. “I love pink, but I can’t stand any in the meat I eat,” explains Andrew. “I like my steak well done, Julie style. Burnt all over and the color of my skin inside.”

He goes on further to say “I don’t see how anyone can eat anything less than well done. Cow vampires, all of them, I say. I’d take a stake and shove it into their hearts, if I could. Someday, I will become ruler of the world and destroy any chef that cooks meat less than well done… especially medium rare. *shudder*”

The following is WRONG:
*picture from juan23

We asked Andrew his recommended method of cooking steak and he was kind enough to give us two ways! “My first method is easy, but quite delicious. Take the chunk of meat and put it on a microwave safe dish. Stick that sucker into the microwave for about 50 minutes, then tada!!! Awesome… I’m gonna start one right now. brb ^_^”

…

“Okay, the second method is to get a charcoal grill going and stick your pound of meat on it. Walk away for a while and watch your favorite episode of Dharma & Greg, then come back and check on it. At this point, at least one side should have a very nice blackened texture to it. Flip it. Go watch your second favorite episode of Dharma & Greg, come back and remove the meat. Both sides should be quite black (perfect!). Let it sit on your dinner table for about two hours, enough time to watch a whole DVD of Dharma & Greg, then enjoy!”

We would like to thank Andrew very much for his kind cooking lessons. Until next time!

Today, I bring you a special AndrewApproved.com battle! We’re going to go over the Mini Cooper and the Corvette and see how they compare and which one ends up on the top of the AndrewApproved list. We’ll be going over a few categories used to qualify something as AndrewApproved and discuss which car wins out in each category then award AndrewApproved status to the one which wins the most! Wheeee!

In Pink
We will see how the Cooper and the Corvette compare clad in pink, Andrew’s favorite color.

Winner: Mini Cooper – “I love pink in every way possible, especially when Oliver wears it, but I think the Mini Cooper tickles my fancy more in pink because it’s just so cuuuuute!” – Andrew

Cuteness
Andrew loves things that are cute. And whatever car he drives must surge with cuteness. The Mini is small and round-ish, very cute. The corvette is like a razor, sharp and fast looking. Not cute.

Winner: Mini Cooper – “I know the Corvette is fast and all, but who needs speed, when you can be cute!!!” – Andrew

Grace Vote
Andrew highly values the opinions of his good friend, Grace, and she says that everyone would pick a Mini Cooper over a Corvette.

Winner: Mini Cooper – “Even if I were tempted to get a Corvette, I would remember the wise words of Grace and snap myself back into reality, where, obviously, everyone would pick a Cooper over the Corvette. Duh, people. Duh.” – Andrew

In the Movies
“I never remember any movies that feature Corvettes,” tells Andrew. “But I really remember The Italian Job where they did super cool things with their Mini Coopers. I bet if Charlie’s Angels got a hold of a few, they’d be unstoppable. I <3 Drew Barrymore.”

Winner: Mini Cooper

Looks like the Mini Cooper wins with a solid four out of four! “Yay!!! When I get my first paycheck, I’m getting a Mini Cooper!!!!” – Andrew

Okay, so I lied about Hawkgirl being the last comic character. I think Booster Gold might be it, but I’m sure there will be surprises ahead when we find out more AndrewApproved characters from comicdom.

“I used to wear yellow sometimes to pretend I was Booster,” recalls Andrew. “Once, I turned to Jen and called her Skeets… she was not amused.” When asked about Andrew’s obsessions, Jen tells us of a particularly memorable situation. “Once, he got confused and put on these angel wings like the kind you see Victoria Secret models wear, and he put on Booster Gold yellow and was some kind of crazy spawn child of Booster and Hawkgirl. It was quite disturbing. He ran around trying to give Keith a kiss while calling him ‘GL’ and kept on yelling at this yellow cereal bowl we had… I think he was singing lyrics to Get Low by Lil’ Jon & the Eastside Boyz or something.”

Booster Gold is considered to be dead in current D.C. continuum. “I sat in a corner of my room for days with the Skeets bowl on my head,” Andrew sobs.

In our final installment of AndrewApproved comic book characters, we bring you Hawkgirl! “She’s my favorite in the Justice League,” remarks Andrew. “I wish I could go to sleep at night with Hawkgirl hugging me with her wings. They’re beautiful.”

When Hawkgirl was kicked out of the Justice League in an animated series episode, Andrew was devastated. “I thought she was going to be gone forever.” In a later season, she returned. “When she came back in the next season, she wasn’t wearing her mask and I thought she was absolutely spectacular!” giggled Andrew. “I think they underplayed Hotgi… Hawkgirl’s powers in the cartoon because she’s obviously much more powerful than the rest of the Justice League,” he comments.

Andrew has been seen drawing pictures of Hawkgirl on his notes with a heart around her. Though we have been unable thus far to obtain a photo of this, we have an artist’s rendition of it based on eye-witness accounts:

Andrew loves the new Batman cartoon by the WB. “It is leaps and bounds better than the old Batman/Superman Adventures cartoon,” he raves. “I love his new chiseled jaw! And look at those kneecaps, oh those awesome kneecaps…” Andrew comments as he slowly curls into a ball and his eyes recede upwards as he lets out a slow moan…

Andrew gets up every day excited because he is one day closer to another The Batman episode. “Sometimes, I only have to wait a few more hours!” he gasps. “One day, this new Batman might replace Jubilee as my favorite character…”

The Batman is in its fourth season on the WB.